What’s at Publix? Is that where the cheese fairy works? Or do they sell magic so I can make my own?

I’m not sure ‘My mullet allows me to shoot diplomats’ is the best message you want to send to your cubical neighbors. Mullets aren’t even ironically cool anymore.

And when we say “Blow out your candles,” we actually mean “We set all your files on fire.”

Monkeys love balloons almost as much as they love throwing their own poop, and that’s a fact.

Submitted by:

iisdmitch

This sign was quickly taken down after the neighboring gas station began sending their favorite ‘floor dumper’ patrons to the office bathroom.

What, and put the intern out of a job? That’s just cold-hearted.

If I were a hiring manager at a BBQ joint, I’m pretty sure I’d avoid recruiting an insatiable, cryptozoological man-beast…but that’s just me.

Submitted by:

Frankie1029

Thank you for your input! Each comment will be processed in the order in which it is received. [Rim shot]

The aluminum that goes into all these office foilings probably could have built another fifteen International Space Stations by now, guys. Think about it.

Don’t you dare mess with my afternoon snack. Get your own.